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Casualty Report

You know those nights when you woke up and you ask yourself, what the fuck happened last night?
Prepare to enter my mind as you experience firsthand my retarded thought process as I tried to figure that exact question out.

First time weed incident

This is the story of when I tried weed for the very first time. Trying weed for the first time is really nothing special. Some people barely feel anything and some feel it a bit more.

And then there is me.

You see my first time was a little bit different than most. I'm talking about smoking here, losing my virginity was probably pretty similar as most peoples; a lot of crying and shame.

Liquor Allergies

We all have that one drink we can't stand no matter how hard we try.

It's very smell makes your intestines twist and turn as the horrific memories of what did this drink ones did to your innocent body are brought up. They might be deeply burried, but they are not gone.

But it wasn't always like this. Once you were great friends.

Once you had great, loving times together.

Yet all it took was one night to change everything.

That one night when you and I became nemesis.

This is the story of that night.

This is the story of how I became allergic to minty shots.

The Shopping Adventure

For some time, three months to be exact, my roommate and I had talked about redecorating the apartment. You see when you got two college guys living together, wait do I really need to say more? The whole apartment looked and smelled like a shit.

It actually tasted like actual shit. I found this out the hard way after my brain decided to shut down two steps away from my bed resulting in a reunion between me and a smelly carpet. I woke up with my tongue licking its hairy consistency, bad timing for sexual dreams.

Repeatedly Retarded

You know those times when you tell yourself that tonight you're going all out. They are often incredibly fun, regretful and painful. Some of my best stories are nights like those.

Then you have those nights when you just say fuck it to everything and everyone. You do the most retarded thing you can possibly think of just to top it five minutes later. You keep doing this until you either pass out, get knocked out, get arrested or end up dead. This was one of those nights. It was my 21thirst birthday, and it was Deltopia.

The Flesh Eater

Everyone has a few bad sexual experiences (some of us more than others...).

Maybe the sex was simply bad, you couldn't get it on or if you're a unlucky the condom broke and congratulations; you're life is officially over. Yet none of these even remotely compare to what I experienced the night of my birthday party.